How hobbies helped me grow
In my early 20’s when people asked me what I liked to do for fun, I had no answer besides going out with my friends. What that really meant, was drinking. Truthfully, I didn’t even like drinking that much, it was just something I thought I needed in order to have fun. Looking back I think my definition of fun was entirely fabricated. Becoming a responsibility to your friends and not remembering what you said or did from the night before is not in any way fun. At least not at 28.
I decided to put the bottle down, and find what really sparks true joy. If I drink now, it’s usually for a celebration with a drink limit of 2. On rare occasions I have gotten carried away and am quickly reminded why drinking is not an activity I should engage in. My Sunday mornings feel more fulfilling when my Saturday evening is spent at home flexing my creative muscles.
Now when people ask me what I like to do for fun, I have a plethora of answers, and none of those include drinking. What I like to do for fun, is engage in various hobbies. I used to think of hobbies as something retirees have to fill their time. I wondered what the point was, and why I needed a hobby. I also felt like I was missing something not having one.
It would be inaccurate to say I had no hobby until I was in my mid 20s, but until recently I believed that. My idea of what a hobby is had to shift before I was able to see that since I was in middle school, I was partaking in a hobby that was a part of my daily routine for a long time. Playing with my makeup.
Makeup is not a requirement to wear to exist in the world as a woman, even though while I was in hair school it was. It’s something we can choose to wear, or not. I love that it has become normalized not to partake in it if we prefer. Some people wear makeup simply because it makes them feel more confident, yet there is no joy in their routine. Makeup doesn’t always have to be fun to do, but it can be fun, and a form of creative expression. What I love about viewing doing your makeup as a hobby, is that you can infuse fun into a routine you already participate in. You can wear glitter on your cheeks, line your eyes with green, give yourself false freckles across your nose. Whatever it is you feel called to create on your face, is your right to experiment with. It doesn’t have to appeal to the standard of what “good makeup” looks like, and you don’t have to wear it out of the house if you don’t yet have the confidence to do so. Take a selfie, or 100, and get creating.
Makeup was one of my first hobbies. It became a ritual for me. As I got older, I found other hobbies that consumed my attention, leaving my makeup brushes craving my touch. One of those hobbies I actively engage with today, is plants. It started in 2020 when I had a vision of opening a salon called The Hair Garden, stimulus check money, and was cooped up in my house. I had an obsession with obtaining every variety of indoor house plant I could get my hands on.
The care didn’t come naturally to me like a cat eye did. I used an app for over a year to help me keep a schedule and identify what each plant needed. I felt that if I learned about every species there is, eventually I’d just understand what different varieties within a species would need. I lost many plants along the way, have learned that the common houseplants are common for a reason, and tapped into a yearning for care taking that my soul was missing.
I am a better person today because of plants. They are a mirror for human behavior by how they respond to the care we give them, and the care we don’t. While I don’t believe everyone needs to be a long term plant owner, I do believe that having a plant era where you let the plants teach you things, is incredibly beneficial for your overall well being. You might find that it’s the thing your soul has been missing.
The passion for plants may have begun indoors, but it quickly spilled into my backyard. It started with a raised bed, some vegetable seeds, and a dream of growing our own food. I must admit, as I’ve discovered the joy of growing flowers, it has taken precedence over my attentiveness to growing vegetables. Next garden season I aim to balance both flower and vegetable gardening more effectively so it can feed my belly as much as it feeds my soul. Like indoor plants have taught me much about life, so has outdoor gardening. The soil you plant in, has a profound effect on what emerges.
My husband and I have spent the last 3 years amending our clay soil with compost to guarantee that what we grow will have a real chance at becoming all it is meant to be. It’s certainly not a cheap hobby, but over time you find ways to save money and become more resourceful. When I’m not spending money on drinking and going out every weekend, it’s easy to justify buying another 10 bags of compost. Some people buy their fun in booze, I buy mine in dirt. Don’t knock it until you try it, it’s addicting, at least for a taurus rising like me.
Gardening and plant care does take up a significant amount of my time, but sometimes I need a break, and I don’t want to get sucked into my phone or TV. I will however argue that consuming some forms of social media and film can be a hobby itself. It’s all about balance, like all things in life are.
When I’m feeling like I need to step away from the plants, I have found myself this past year being called to paint. I don’t do it nearly as much as I’d like to since I don’t have a proper easel, but I’m slowly working on creating a space where this medium is easily accessible to me. One of the biggest things I have learned about hobbies is that is important to make them accessible to you. What I mean by that, is leaving them in a place where you see it, and want to engage with it. Think of it like you would a children’s play area. You can create the same thing for yourself. Set up a table with your choice of craft or crafts on top. Maybe it’s a puzzle, maybe it’s a sewing machine. Whatever it is that calls you, make space for it, and you will find yourself partaking in your hobbies more often.
As I’ve gained hobbies, and abandoned some, I have had a guilt that has at times stifled me from creating at all. Since I got my ADD diagnosis in 2023, I have been able to begin to let go of the shame around my pattern of starting things and never finishing them. It’s not a character flaw I need to fix, it’s just how my brain works and I must learn to work with it. You are allowed to start a painting, abandon it for 5 years, and pick it back up again. So long as you have the desire and interest to do so. If you run out of space and motivation, by all means, get rid of it. My favorite way to get rid of things that don’t feel like they add value to my life anymore, is to burn them. It’s symbolic, frees me from expectation, and makes room for more. I could even call burning shit a hobby of mine, as it provides me with a great deal of satisfaction.
There are many other hobbies I have dipped in and out of, or barely started and want to engage with more in the future. Some examples are; hiking, roller blading, dancing, kickboxing, pilates, scrapbooking, collecting sea glass, the list goes on. All of these things will always exist, it is up to me when I decide I want to discover them again. The reality is, that I may never pick back up what I have once put down. It saddens me to think that, until I remind myself of the joy I did experience while partaking in those activities. Each hobby has enriched my life in different ways at different times when I needed it the most. I am not a failure for finding a new way to experience creative expression and joy. I am an ever evolving human who’s kind of good at a lot of things, and a master at nothing.
For a long time I felt like I needed to master at least one thing for my life to have meaning, but that’s just not my path. I wrote this blog post for anyone else who feels similarly. In today’s tech filled world it’s so easy to get sucked into our phones and not make space for things that nourish our souls. It’s nothing to feel shame over.
If nobody has taught you how to make space for hobbies, I hope this entry has taught you something. I don’t believe I have all the answers in life, but through trial and error I am uncovering the answers to what works for me. If you are somebody who learns through doing like I do, take bits and pieces from others that you see some of yourself in, and apply what interests you. Try on what might work, and put it down when it doesn’t. This blog I have created is just one of my hobbies in fruition. A hobby that has helped heal me, and fed some of you who needed it most.
Whether it be putting my feelings to paper, playing with my makeup, growing flowers, or finding a new way to move my body, I will always make space and time for things that nourish me. Don’t overlook the value of what hobbies can bring to your life, just because you don’t feel that you are doing them right. The truth is, there is no right way. We are the creators of our lives. We can choose at any moment to try something new. Your hobby, your rules. Now make them.